LIKE mums all over the country, Katie Synnott should be busy tomorrow enjoying Mother’s Day with her four children, opening cards and gifts and being spoiled for all her love and devotion.
Long-term partner Ryan Boyle will ensure Katie is served breakfast in bed and then the family-of-six will share precious hours together walking their dog Ralphie and enjoying a meal at a local restaurant.
But Katie’s Mother’s Day will be powerfully bittersweet as she and Ryan fear this could be the last she shares with her precious family.
Just two months ago she was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, an aggressive, incurable brain tumour - and could have months to live.
The couple - who met in 2007 and got engaged in 2011 - share daughters Lila, 13, and Scout, six, and sons, Buddy, 11 and Fox, 8.
The latter is autistic and Katie gave up her career as an accountant three years ago to home school him.
Ryan retired playing professional rugby in 2021 and became a gas engineer, working all hours to fund their once settled home life.
But now, Katie’s health battle is a trauma too difficult for them to comprehend, and tomorrow the couple will put on a brave face for their youngsters, and make loving memories.
Katie simply says: "I cope by pretending it isn’t happening.
"Just this Wednesday I told Buddy and Lila my cancer was incurable. Buddy got angry and locked himself in the bathroom.
"Both have Googled it. Lila seems to be putting a front on and we just hope she talks to her friends about it. Buddy won’t leave the house without me now.
“The younger two don’t yet know my cancer is terminal.
"I’ve got to tell them as I know in the long term they will appreciate it coming from me.
"But watching our kids like this is akin to watching your heart break in front of your eyes. They are my heart.
"I am just glad it is me and not one of them who has this.
I’ll miss them passing exams, their sporting achievements, graduations and weddings. Leaving the children will be the hardest thing I ever do.
Katie Synnott
"Mother’s Day is very near my birthday so we usually celebrate one or the other. This year though, we will mark both days.
"I just keep thinking about the milestones I will miss out on - I won’t be here to explain periods to Lila or see their first boyfriends and girlfriends.
“I’ll miss them passing exams, their sporting achievements, graduations and weddings. Leaving the children will be the hardest thing I ever do."
In quiet times, often in the night when she cannot sleep, former accountant Katie, 41, has started buying gifts, preparing memory boxes and books for her children to remember her by.
“The books are still in their wrappers. They ask what my favourite memories are, what are my favourite foods - things like that - for them to read in the future.
"I don’t want to open them yet as writing them is like accepting the worst outcome.
"I’ve bought the girls rings engraved with, 'Love you, Mum. For every high and low in life, remember your mum will always guide you.'
"The boys have got bracelets also engraved. I’ve bought age-appropriate books for them to read about how to cope with loss and grief."
To support Katie and Ryan’s fight, go to www.gofundme.com/f/katie-ryan-and-family
Gently weeping, Katie, of Castleford, West Yorkshire, nods as fiancé Ryan says: "We have to make every day count, every milestone special as we don’t know how many we have left."
The couple are still in shock as they come to terms with the prognosis.
95 per cent of Glioblastoma sufferers survive an average of 12-18 months, with only 25 per cent surviving more than a year.
Ryan, a former star player with Castleford Tigers and Ireland international, is focusing on raising £250,000 to pay for immunotherapy treatment in Germany to prolong and improve his beloved fiancée’s life.
He says: "She is a brilliant mum, the kids are her life and all we can do is take one day and one stage at a time."
Glioblastomas are a fast-growing type of cancerous brain tumour.
Symptoms depend on where the tumour is located, but they can include:
Scientists don't fully understand what causes glioblastomas, therefore there is no clear way to prevent the disease.
The main treatments include surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
The average survival time following a glioblastoma diagnosis is 12 to 18 months.
Only 25 per cent of patients live beyond one year, and just five per cent survive more than five years.
Source: Cancer Research UK and the Brain Tumour Charity
Ryan says he is coping but is understandably far more emotional than his usual stoic self.
Katie says: "It is freaking Buddy out that dad cries. I’ve never seen Ryan cry before until now and he breaks down just about most days."
In the first few weeks of Katie’s diagnosis, Ryan would stay awake all night researching information.
He says: “I’d come across horror stories, people saying how long their loved ones lived and it just got me down so I try now to keep off the Internet.
"I know what we are dealing with, I know what I have to face, I just don’t know how long we have together.
"If it has not spread, Katie may in the future have another brain operation. But not knowing is a big fear.
"I’m trying to be optimistic but I keep thinking about having to take the kids to see Katie in a hospice.
"I just pray she will be a long time survivor."
She [Katie] is a brilliant mum, the kids are her life and all we can do is take one day and one stage at a time
Ryan
As to how he will struggle as a single parent, Ryan admits: "It will be about finding a new normal. I’m starting a crash course on this already.
"When we do hospital visits, I take a notepad and pen and ask Katie how do I do an online banking transaction or food shop as she did it all.
"I'm writing down passwords, ringing the schools to make sure they have my phone number down as the priority. It’s daunting and I am going to need a lot of help from our families."
Katie began suffering horrendous headaches at the end of December last year.
"I put it down to tiredness and Christmas, but they worsened so much that I was taking painkillers like sweets,” says Katie.
"I began to suffer memory loss - starting a sentence and unable to finish it half way through but thought it was the menopause. Then in January the pain intensified."
Katie went to the doctors on January 23 this year.
The GP immediately sent her to Wakefield’s Pinderfields Hospital, where tests showed a 4.5cm tumour on the left side of her brain.
She says: “The on duty doctor told me the next day that it was probably benign and sent me home. We were hopeful everything was going to be fine.
"The children hated me being in hospital and were crying, ringing me, asking if I was going to be OK. Our youngest, Fox would not eat while I was away and has since refused to leave the house unless with me.
"When I got home, we sat the children down and told them that Mummy needed treatment to fix her head and they accepted that."
In February, she underwent surgery at Leeds General Infirmary.
“They removed 98 per cent of the tumour but were unable to take the roots out as there was a chance it could leave me paralysed,” she says.
“We just hoped we were going to be told the growth was benign - but it was not to be."
When the couple walked into the Leeds’ surgeon’s office he appeared cheerful and upbeat, asking if they wanted to see the scan pictures, so that gave them hope.
But Katie recalls his mood did not match the words that came out of his mouth as he told them that it was an aggressive cancerous brain tumour, adding: "You can have chemotherapy and radiotherapy or you can go home and let nature take its course - which won’t be long as it will spread or grow back."
Katie says: “I was rooted to the seat in total shock, unable to cry. Ryan and I were silent on the drive home. Once inside my house, I broke down."
Over the ensuing days, the couple wanted to be as honest as they could for the children.
Katie says: "They have all reacted so differently.
"Lila acts as if it is not happening, Scout is very clingy and is too young to understand I won’t be here for ever.
"Buddy needs constant reassurance and gets angry. Fox has a sensory processing disorder and stopped eating when I was in hospital.
"Fox is very matter of fact.
"He asked on Thursday as I went for my pre-chemotherapy tests, 'Hey Mum, did you manage to get the cancer out of your brain?'
"My heart broke as I explained they had not but I was taking medication to keep it at bay.
"He and Scout barely leave my side and want me to do all the things I used to - cooking meals, bedtime routines - but I do get increasingly tired.
"My health has deteriorated - the right side is affected. I get a dead arm and hand and my hip aches. My vision is OK but I cannot drive and had my licence taken off me."
Since Katie’s diagnosis, Ryan and other members of the family have devoted hours to researching her illness and potential treatments.
"Ryan trawls through the internet for stories of hope,” says Katie.
“He sends me links to people who have lived for several years and says, 'Look Katie, some do survive longer'. We cling to hope like that."
It was Katie’s sister, Lucy Sinfield, who told the couple about immunotherapy.
It works by helping the immune system recognise and attack cancer cells. The type of immunotherapy Katie will need for her tumour is not available on the NHS.
She would need to be treated at a German clinic, and her family are desperate to get her there in a bid to prolong her precious life and Katie’s family are now dedicating their time to fundraising.
I’ve been given a death sentence but no idea when that will be
Katie
Her sister Lucy set up a Go Fund Me Page and yet again - as it did with the late Leeds Rhino player Rob Burrows when he received his MND diagnosis - the UK’s rugby league community has rallied round and many clubs have helped with fundraising.
Rob’s wife Lindsey has sent the couple a shirt of his to be auctioned. In just a few weeks the Go Fund Me page has raised over £114,000.
Any money raised will go towards treatment and helping the family, and Ryan has had to cut back work to spend time at home helping Katie.
Ryan says: "We hope to raise as much money as possible towards Katie's treatment because it could give her more valuable time with the children.
"We want to do everything we can to give her extra years, and more Mother's Days.
"And by speaking out, I hope that someone out there might know how we can prolong Katie's life, a treatment we might not yet know about - anything to give her as much time as possible."
Katie explains: “We do not have health or mortgage insurance so every penny raised will go to pay for treatment and help us survive the gruelling months ahead.”
Katie started chemotherapy yesterday along with radiotherapy and hopes to go to Germany in summer.
Meanwhile, she continues to prepare her children for the future. "I’ve been given a death sentence but no idea when that will be,” she says.
“No one can tell us that, we feel like we are in limbo to an extent. Not knowing is so hard, the future seems scary.
"We have told them that I am on chemotherapy and mummy won’t be well. We have to carefully tell the kids to fit in with their ages and needs but it is so hard to do”.
The couple also plan to tie the knot over the coming months.
Katie says: "We’ve been engaged for years but have never got round to sorting a wedding - maybe that is something we should do now.
"We’d like a small wedding with immediate family. I’d like the girls to be bridesmaids and the lads to be Ryan’s best man and ring bearer."
As for the generous donations, Katie adds: "We appreciate every penny raised as it will hopefully buy me more time with my children.
"That’s all I wish for on Mother’s Day and, to be honest, every day."
