Senior Column | F— it we ball

Like most people, I hate funerals.

Funerals highlight the good parts of one’s life, often omitting the bad, and while I want to hear about the good parts, it’s the difficult moments that build someone’s character.

It’s safe to say that I’ve had quite a few character building moments during my time at Penn State.

I didn’t have a traditional start at Penn State, in fact, I didn’t even know Penn State existed before applying. But after the Florida government announced its plans to cut Bright Futures funding, I knew it was time to look elsewhere.

On a whim and from a suggestion by my mom, a Pennsylvania native, I clicked a few buttons and my Common App was on its way. I didn’t know much about the university, but I made my deposit and then moved from Orlando to State College.

Coming to Penn State, I only knew my roommate who I met on Facebook. I left behind what I knew in Florida and grieved the death of my dad, which happened a few weeks prior to the start of classes. In my first few weeks, I had a friend from high school die, a visit from university police at my dorm and a trip to the emergency room after falling off my lofted bed.

I wanted to go home, but home wasn’t an option, as my mom and brother lived in our family friend’s loft while trying to find a place to start over in New Jersey.

I remember calling Deanna crying before I went to the emergency room, telling her I wanted to go home, but she told me to stick it out for a week. Soon, one week turned into one month, one semester and then one year. While I get ready to walk the stage in a few weeks, I’m so grateful I stayed.

Staying brought me to The Daily Collegian, and while I’m no longer a writer, I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the lessons I learned here. I learned more than how to be a journalist; I also learned lifelong skills and made lifelong friends.

There were times I felt like I was in over my head, and if it weren’t for the phrase ‘f— it we ball,’ I’m not sure I would’ve made it.

Saying ‘f— it we ball’ led me to some of the best experiences and some of my biggest mistakes in my college career, but regardless, I walked away with a lesson.

However, I wouldn’t have made these leaps of faith without endless support along the way, so here comes the obligatory long list of thank yous.

Ping, Jeremy and Lori, you may be wondering what a public policy, communication arts and sciences and ceramics professor have in common, but it’s teaching me to always be my best. It took a lot of necessary humbling, but you taught me to care and nurture your work, even if it’s not the most efficient.

To Leanne, thank you for believing in me and giving me a chance to become a leader. Thank you for letting me make mistakes and supporting my ideas no matter how big or small.

Najee and Giselle, I bet you never thought you would be thanked in a Collegian article. Thank you for being my elders and guiding me through all of my student leader crash outs. Thank you for always handling my chaos and bringing your own so I don’t feel alone.

To the R-VOICE center, thank you all for dealing with my tomfoolery over the past two years. The relationships I’ve gotten from this office are ones that I hope last a lifetime.

To me, relationships are made in the small moments, the ones that you may overlook but are just as important nonetheless.

So, thank you Jayden for your "daily" affirmations, Sarah for stealing my phone and Rodrigo for the Cafe 210 West yap sessions.

Thank you to Hannah for inspiring me to run 100 miles in January, Joel for always reminding me to get my money up and Mike for letting me sit on your kitchen floor.

Thank you Cearra for staying tuned in to my lice treatments, Kaitlyn and Mercedes for always supporting my side quests.

Thank you to Olivia, Nick and Sam for being my Collegian parents over the years and always keeping it real with me.

Thank you to Joe Tuman, the only one who gets their last name included in this section, for the late night Buckman updates and for introducing me to Carter’s Table. Thank you for listening to my rants and supporting me even when I’m making objectively stupid decisions, you’re the true embodiment of unconditional love.

To Sam, it’s not you, it’s me. Thank you for always making my coffee in the morning and teaching me what it means to glaze someone, you’re really good at it. Thank you for always believing in me and letting me grow. While we had a rough start, I’m so glad we stuck it out. Thank you for showing me what love is and giving me a hopeful outlook on my future.

Thank you to Maggie for being my best friend and always cutting my strawberries for me because you know I hate doing it. This is the first time I’ve ever been constrained by a word count. I can’t dictate the impact you’ve had on my life and I’m so grateful you’ve let me be a part of your family. Thank you for being my life partner.

Thank you to Amy for never letting me throw up alone in Kazakhstan and being one of my best friends in college. It’s been an absolute joy getting to grow up with you in college, from being a mock trial attorney to the editor-in-chief and incoming business manager. Your drive always inspires me to do better and for that I’m grateful.

To Charlotte, Kasie and Emma (honorary roommate), thank you for honoring me as the most ignored roommate. I’m so lucky to have made such close friends early in college, you guys got me through some of my most difficult moments and taught me what it means to show up for someone you love.

To Suzette, sorry for always sucking up to your dad. Thank you for always giving me a place back home and being my rock all of these years. You’ve put up with a lot of my growing pains and still loved me anyways, thank you for growing up with me. Nothing brings me more joy than our friendship, love you always.

Thank you to Colin, for facilitating FaceTime calls with the pets and sending me text verification codes. I’ve seen you grow so much over the last four years and even though I’m quick to make fun of you, I really am proud of you every day. I’m lucky to have someone who lived life with me and always understands where I’m coming from.

To my dad, thank you for giving me the opportunity to make dead dad jokes. While I’m mad at you almost daily for using the get out of life early card, you were one of my biggest supporters in getting me to college. I hope I’ve made you proud.

Thank you to my mom, for always sending me cat pictures and news articles that I never read. Although the roads have been bumpy, you’ve always done what’s necessary to get us through. I’ve given you a lot of grief over the years but never once did I feel any less loved by you. Putting me through college on the heels of dad’s death wasn’t easy, so this celebration is for both of us.

In a few weeks, I’ll be graduating with degrees in political science and broadcast journalism and I have no clue what’s next, but there will be love and support wherever I go.

While I may not know what’s next I do know one thing: f— it we ball.

MORE SENIOR COLUMNS

Senior Column | The End Game: How my life is a big chess game

Life is a big chess game.